We present a collaborative duoethnography on the intersection of individual identities, a research project on empathy, and external events. The Oct. 7th attacks on Israel and ensuing invasion of Gaza raised difficult questions surrounding identity and relationships for the authors, one (Hamdan) a Muslim-Palestinian American cis-women postdoctoral researcher with family in the West Bank, the other (Franklin) a white, American Jewish cis-male professor with parents and extended family living in Israel. This study reveals the authors creating a space in which difficult conversations can occur, with attention to explicit and implicit power differentials. Reflective and generative writings reveal themes of fear, concern for each other, and appreciation for how their research on empathy both facilitates and benefits from these conversations. The work concludes with implications for how physics education researchers can better support each other in the face of external political and geo-political conflicts and pressures.