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The Rules! - Dec 1, 2004 at 10:54AM
Admin Avatar
Admin
AAPT
107 Posts

We've decided to wrap up 2004 with a Limerick Contest.  All entries must be received by midnight of December 24th, and we will announce the winners to kick off next term.

Fabulous prizes will be awarded for the following categories:  most humorous, best physics-themed, and best holiday-themed.  The SPS chapter with the greatest representation will also garner the coveted 'Featured Chapter' segment for January.

Please mention your chapter affiliation somewhere in the post so we can give proper credit!
  
Limerick example:
There was an old man of the coast
Who placidly sat on a post
But when it was cold
He relinquished his hold
And called for some hot, buttered toast.

Try to stick within the rules - five lines, 1,2, and 5
rhyme, etc.   Enjoy!


Dodge this.

Replies to The Rules!

Re: The Rules! - Dec 01 2004 2:42PM
Dave Avatar
Dave
San Marcos, Texas
393 Posts

Here's mine:

There once was a man from Calcutta
Who coated his tonsils with buttah
Reducing his snore
From a thunderous roar
To a soft, oleaginous muttah

Dave


Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value -- Albert Einstein


Re: Re: The Rules! - Dec 01 2004 10:24PM
Gary
Society of Physics...
293 Posts

That's a rip-snortin' good limerick, Dave...intimidatin' in fact...


NSF Program Director (on assignment from the AIP and the Society of Physics Students to serve as the Robert Noyce Scholarship Program Director at the National Science Foundation)


A physics Classic - Dec 02 2004 11:57AM
Dave Avatar
Dave
San Marcos, Texas
393 Posts

Here's another one:

There was a young lady named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light
She departed one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night

Dave


Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value -- Albert Einstein


Re: The Rules! - Dec 06 2004 2:28PM
Alysson Avatar
Alysson
My chair
196 Posts

Eight interns decend on DC
Matt, Heather, Christen, & KB
Joe, Brett and Allison
Now I'm forgetting one
Oh Yes, and Anthony

Lame!


-al


Re: The Rules! - Dec 06 2004 2:32PM
Alysson Avatar
Alysson
My chair
196 Posts

During x-mas, the towns come alive
With people who forget how to drive
We go to the mall
Soon sick of it all
and can't wait for 2005!


-al


Re: Re: The Rules! - Dec 07 2004 11:31AM
Gary
Society of Physics...
293 Posts

I like this one A...keep em coming...mine are just gelling


NSF Program Director (on assignment from the AIP and the Society of Physics Students to serve as the Robert Noyce Scholarship Program Director at the National Science Foundation)


from today's electronics study session - Dec 06 2004 11:39PM
Mika
Washingonton, DC
3 Posts

In lab I worked without rest
to craft a circuit to test.
It's voltage was strong,
the droop was not long,
but smoke made significant mess!



Re: The Rules! - Dec 07 2004 4:36PM
Gary
Society of Physics...
293 Posts

There once was an old guy named White,
who aspired, a fine lim'rick, to write,
but his brain was o'erflowing
with things not worth knowing,
extruding the self-referential and trite.


NSF Program Director (on assignment from the AIP and the Society of Physics Students to serve as the Robert Noyce Scholarship Program Director at the National Science Foundation)


Re: The Rules! - Dec 07 2004 10:12PM
Jordan
6 Posts

The Strong Force, all cocky and proud
Approached Gravity, yelling out loud:
"I'm stronger than you!"
Said Grav: "Maybe that's true
but at length I am more well-endowed."



Re: The Rules! - Dec 07 2004 10:34PM
Jordan
6 Posts

Young Heisenberg, tired from math,
filled his bathtub to take a warm bath.
But whenever he tried
to get fully inside
Uncertainty muddled his path.



Re: The Rules! - Dec 07 2004 10:43PM
Jordan
6 Posts

A photon was issued a fine
For traveling in a straight line.
Said the cop to the light:
"Sir, don't put up a fight.
You drove right past the 'Wave Ahead' sign."



From UCSB - Dec 07 2004 10:49PM
Mika
Washingonton, DC
3 Posts

My chapter-mates are resisting registering to post their own, so here's two from James, procrastinating studying for our electronics final tomorrow:

There was this Student male
Who drank too much good ale
He went to the Exam
But forgetting to cram
Well, his grade rhymed with "Pale"

Which is source and which is drain?
Remembering's such a pain!
Is the middle the base?
Who can tell with this case?
Oh darn, there's the smoke again!



Re: The Rules! - Dec 07 2004 10:50PM
Jordan
6 Posts

A young physics guy had his eyes
On the Nucleus "Poem Grand Prize."
So he wrote all he could
And he figured they should
At least give him some praise for his tries.



Another few from UCSB - Dec 07 2004 10:51PM
Mika
Washingonton, DC
3 Posts

And these ones are on Josh's behalf.  The first was inspired by our mascot/slogan contest (the first line is a slogan that made it to the final round) and the last is lamenting the speed of the quarter system.

Mathematicians are tools
they do all that we do
they get used
used by you
as many good Physicists do

Making perturbations is fun
just one tug and your done
linear here
linear there
not linear after that one

Midterm back in one week
Midterm back in two weeks
put off again
again and again
it won't be back in ten weeks



U of L limericks - Dec 08 2004 7:33AM
zyxtan Avatar
zyxtan
30 Posts

No one believed the man Higgs
his pearls were thrown to the pigs
It does so have a mass!!
now find it you ass...
and we'll all be dancing some jigs



Re: U of L limericks - Dec 08 2004 7:44AM
zyxtan Avatar
zyxtan
30 Posts

The semester has now come and gone
but the grading still lingers on
I look at my table
and wonder if I am able
to grade while I quietly yawn



Re: U of L limericks - Dec 08 2004 7:52AM
zyxtan Avatar
zyxtan
30 Posts

I hope someday I'll be rich
instead of digging a ditch
If I save all my money
and don't wed my honey
It will easy without a glitch



Re: U of L limericks - Dec 08 2004 8:01AM
zyxtan Avatar
zyxtan
30 Posts

Laplacian div grad and curl
I think I'll give Stokes a whirl
Gauss then stepped in
and then Green again
the solution starts to unfurl



Re: U of L limericks - Dec 08 2004 8:03AM
zyxtan Avatar
zyxtan
30 Posts

Ramen really tastes great!
You really don't need a plate
at 39 cents..
barely an expense..
when on sale, buy them by the crate!



Re: U of L limericks - Dec 08 2004 8:07AM
zyxtan Avatar
zyxtan
30 Posts

A broken clock is sometimes right
once in the morning and once in the night
thats good enough for me
I'll always agree
that accuracy never brought me delight



Re: U of L limericks - Dec 08 2004 8:15AM
zyxtan Avatar
zyxtan
30 Posts

I know when I'm late for school
"Nowhere to park" is always the rule
if I cram my car in
by the trashcan again
I don't think that I'll lose my cool



Re: U of L limericks - Dec 08 2004 8:18AM
zyxtan Avatar
zyxtan
30 Posts

You know that I hate to complain...
but the cost of textbooks is insane!!
At a hundred a pop..
my jaw nearly dropped...
my wallet can't handle the pain!



Re: U of L limericks - Dec 08 2004 8:23AM
zyxtan Avatar
zyxtan
30 Posts

To ETS I do make this plea
give me a perfect on the GRE
a missed question or two
will just never do
my fellow students would surely agree



Re: U of L limericks - Dec 08 2004 8:35AM
zyxtan Avatar
zyxtan
30 Posts

The alarm is my enemy
"hit the snooze" seems so right to me
it is buzzing away
next to where I lay
I live a caffeine philosophy



Re: The Rules! - Dec 11 2004 6:24PM
armin
4 Posts

A German chap by name of Onestone
Was to fancy flights extremely prone
But then he came up with a brilliant thought
That Newton to his frail knees brought
And as "relativity" came to be known

Quantum, quantum, thou art small!
But thy power affects us all.
Won't you tell us who you are?
Or why your influence reaches far?
Pray tell us your side of an apple's fall

Heisenberg, Schroedinger, Bohr and Born
With Einstein about an issue were torn:
"Is our view complete or is it not?"
Back then, this issue was really hot
Though it cooled down, it's still forlorn


I'm affiliated with SPS at the University of Michigan



couple more from umich - Dec 11 2004 8:19PM
armin
4 Posts

Are we really made of strings?
Or is this one of fancy's flings?
Lots of papers and calculations
But, calculations, schmalculations
What counts is the result nature brings

QED&QCD
GR just won't let them be
It's smooth and has no spooky action
Plus, wave functions cause no distraction
We must have missed a basic key



Re: The Rules! - Dec 12 2004 1:05AM
Jordan
6 Posts

BTW I am affiliated with the Tufts University chapter.



few more - Dec 15 2004 12:50PM
armin
4 Posts

The end of the year can only mean
An opportunity to once again glean
The accomplishments during this dying year
Some may not have completely lived up, I fear,
To the vision at this year's birth they had seen


Physics is like a big puzzle game
with rules and fun, it's never the same
Most people say it's too hard to learn
I grant, one must painstakingly earn
The right to be called "physicist" by name


The year of physics is 2005
What have you done to improve man's life?
100 years before it was that young lad
whom everyone (?) tries to follow like mad
But find your own path for which you should strive


Quantum, quantum on the wall,
What's your weirdest form of all?
Is it when you tunnel through?
Or when you with SR screw?
Your tale is true, but it seems tall



My Limerick - Dec 21 2004 1:17PM
Physi-c-ology Avatar
Physi-c-ology
2 Posts

"People People help me
I did not memorize the formulae
Tomorrow I have an exam
I don't want to bam
And become a university expellee"


NB: Hope to Win



A few more silly ones - Dec 22 2004 12:46PM
armin
4 Posts

There was a physicist from Western Samoa
Whose hobby it was to play with his boa
One day he forgot to feed the beast
Because he was at a conference feast
When he came home, his last word was "Whoa..."

There was a physicist from New York City
Who was into chicks that are very pretty
With equations he tried to razzle them
And with jargon he tried to dazzle them
He did't get to touch, though, what rhymes with 'pity'

There was a physicist from Detroit
Who was a big fan of Sigmund Freud
He tried to psychoanalyze his formulae
To try to find complex odipae
But, sadly, got only his career destroyed

There was a physicist from Calcutta
Who had a very severe kind of stutta
Whenever he tried to give a talk
People at attending his talk would balk
So he just delivered his talk without a mutta

There was a physicist who was working at Yale
Who would always get more than a ton of mail
From crackpots, cranks and many a fellow
with a concept of reality as firm as jell-o
At least no one could track his own theory's trail

There was a physicist at MIT
Who would always insist on drinking ice tea
When asked why he would only drink that
He replied, straightfaced, and with a voice flat:
" It enhances the taste of my P.."

(howzabout a "grossest limerick" award category?)

There was a physicist determined to go
To Stockholm by invitation and fro
Day and night he worked very hard
And had in gaining new insights a big part
Alas, his epitaph read: "Life, you blow!"

There was a physicist who was at uMich
Who had before dying just one last wish:
"I wished I could epitomize transparency
and have a reach beyond what most people see."
So God turned him into a jellyfish

There was a physicist who was at uPenn
Who had not just one theory but ten
About how to combine QM with GR
In a way that we can say they consistent are
Sadly, each test forced him to go back again

E=mc^2
Says that matter and Energy are paired
Perhaps someone, somewhere might be leaning
Towards asking: "Could there be a deeper meaning
That has not yet been fully inferred?"



Re: The Rules! - Dec 23 2004 11:21PM
CJG
1 Posts

I'm from Hope College . . .

there once were young physicists three
who slept in their lab frequently
they were watched by an owl
can of spam, and a trowel
and subsisted solely on cheese

An electron from H planned a trip
through a tunnel to U he would zip
to feel the attraction
of protons in action
and see if his spin he could flip

A single charge q found a glass
and admired his image's class
he moved to and fro
in a satisfied glow
and said "you've potential, no mass!"

pendulum Bob flies through space
nonlinear dynamics he hates
he cannot cope
at the end of his rope
while students blame him for his pace



Thank you - Jan 18 2005 10:43AM
Admin Avatar
Admin
AAPT
107 Posts

Thanks to all who entered - we are in the process of judging the entries, and should have results posted by the end of the week.


Dodge this.


And the winners are.... - Jan 20 2005 10:33AM
Admin Avatar
Admin
AAPT
107 Posts

As always, thanks to all who posted limericks!!  We'd like to announce the winners:

Chapter participation:  University of Michigan (19)

Most Humorous:  Zyxtan
Ramen really tastes great!
You really don't need a plate
at 39 cents..
barely an expense..
when on sale, buy them by the crate!

Best Physics-Themed:  Jordan
The Strong Force, all cocky and proud
Approached Gravity, yelling out loud:
"I'm stronger than you!"
Said Grav: "Maybe that's true
but at length I am more well-endowed."

Best Holiday-Themed:  Allyson
During x-mas, the towns come alive
With people who forget how to drive
We go to the mall
Soon sick of it all
and can't wait for 2005!

We'll be in touch with the winners for prize information and whatnot - thanks again to all for participating!!


Dodge this.


Re: And the winners are.... - Feb 18 2005 7:08PM
Jordan
6 Posts

is the nucleus still planning to give prizes to the winners of the limerick contest?



Re: Re: And the winners are.... - Feb 21 2005 10:15AM
Admin Avatar
Admin
AAPT
107 Posts

Hi Jordan,

Yes, you'll be receiving a prize.  Sorry about the delay.  I'll gently remind the person in charge of that tomorrow  :)


Dodge this.


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