"Theory is when you know how it works but it still doesn't. Practice is when it works but you don't know why. In this Department [Physics], theory and practice are joined together: nothing works and no one knows why!"

Matter is fundamentally lazy:- It always takes the path of least effort
Matter is fundamentally stupid:- It tries every other path first.
That is the heart of physics - The rest is details.

That is my all time favorite physics joke :).

Q: Why won't Heisenbergs' operators live in the suburbs
A: They don't commute

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek.
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den. He is supposed to count
upto 100 and then start searching. Everyone starts hiding except Newton.
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it, right in front of
Einstein.
Einsteins counting ....97,98,99,100, opens his eyes and finds Newton
standing in front. Einstein says "Newtons out, Newton's out."

Newton denies and says I am not out. He claims that he is not Newton. All
the scientists come out and he proves that he is not Newton.  how?

Newton says:
I am standing in a square of area 1m square..
That means I am Newton per meter square..
Hence I am Pascal.
Since newton per meter square = Pascal

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Scroll down and you'll find:

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

-al